If I ever get pregnant I think this is how I will break the news
This came into work today. I shortlisted it and displayed it on my cafe counter.
The back said something like “He is into BDSM. (Batman, Dragons, Star Wars, and Magic the Gathering).”
The first paragraph starts like this:“I growl with frustration at my reflection in the mirror. My hair is fifty shades of messed up. Why is it so kinky and out of control? I need to stop sleeping with it wet. As I brush my long brown hair, the girl in the mirror brown eyes too big for her, stares back at me. Wait… my eyes are blue! It dawns on me that I haven’t been looking in the mirror—I’ve been staring at a poster of Kirsten Stewart for the past five minutes. My own hair is fine.”
my own hair is fine
oh my god where can i buy this
I have read this book and I assure you it is literary gold.
— The Scheduler [49 Days] (via lolitasrequiem)
David Beckham and his sons get GOLD slimed after he accepts the 2014 KCS GOLDEN blimp!
i bet this is the color of his sperm.
Well now I have the image of his kids covered in his golden sperm in my head
— Coco Chanel, The Gospel According to Coco Chanel: Life Lessons from the World’s Most Elegant Woman (via ociz)